Castles In The Sky by Ian Van Dahl induces the strongest feelings of nostalgia in me, more than any other song. It brings me to the verge of tears. I can’t explain why, or I don’t want to explain why. I have to limit how often I listen to that song because I’m afraid it will lose its effect on me if I overplay it. I don’t think I do that with any other song.
Nostalgia seems to be the most unique feeling. More beautiful than any other feeling, I think, if it is a particularly strong hit that you get – one that feels as though you’re really being transported back in time. The kind that Castles In The Sky gives me. I thought a bit about nostalgia today.
I was thinking about nostalgia, and how privileged I feel to experience it whenever it shows up. It’s a bit like déjà vu in the way that it shows up out of nowhere, and in how fleeting it seems to be when it does. Like with déjà vu, I always do what I can to hold on to it for as long as I can, but it always fades. A bit like when I’m trying to remember the details of a nice, or horrible dream.
I was wondering if there could be a way to feel that same intensity but towards the present, without having to wait for the trigger of nostalgia later on. What would I need to look at to appreciate being alive in a moment, and feel that same intensity? What sort of thing should I look out for, or try to notice? I looked at some trees. People always mention those kinds of things – the trees, the sky, and the grass, and how wonderful they are. I’m a little bit sorry that I’ve become used to all of those things. Maybe one day, again, I’ll be bowled over by them.
Music can induce some intense feelings for me in the present moment, and some art as well. Meditation seems to give me an awareness of the present, and of being present, but I’ve never been close to tears at the beauty and privilege of being alive through meditating. It seems as though those feelings might be reserved for 10 or 15 years later, and hindsight. Maybe only once something has been lost and can be mourned. Maybe there’d be no nostalgia if we felt those feelings in relation to the present, anyway? Maybe it wouldn’t be as good, or we wouldn’t be able to function if we were feeling that way all of the time. It is the way it is, I suppose.
I was thinking about all those sorts of things while I was on my way home from a walk. For some reason, the voice of Billy Connolly came into my head. The voice of Billy Connolly was saying, “appreciate your body while you can. And use it. Because a time will come when you won’t be able to, you know? And if you don’t, you’ll look back and wonder why you didn’t. Because it’s a wonderful thing, moving, you know? It’s brilliant!” The voice of Billy Connolly didn’t develop the thought much further beyond that. That paragraph repeated itself in my head though, and I started to say it out loud while I was walking – impersonating Billy. Honing my impression, actually. It’s getting pretty good.
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